Mythology

What’s on Megan’s Mind?

My first class that I signed up for when I went to college was Mythology 4100, which was a course taught by the Dean of our college just once every few years. The Dean (who later became both my first boss for my student Administrative Assistant position and also a mentor and friend) was a Classicist trained in Greek and Latin, as well as an expert on Opera and storytelling around the world. I signed up for the class on a whim because all of the courses in my major were filled with upperclassmen. It was the best decision I could have made, and I thank God on a regular basis for putting me in that classroom.

You’re probably asking “What in the world is so important about mythology?” The answer is that mythology is a time capsule for how humans learn to believe universal truths, no matter the cultural context they live in. Almost every mythic tradition includes a flood myth (almost as if the whole earth was flooded at the same time…?). Almost every mythic canon includes a tale warning against the dangers of incest. Many cultures have myths bewailing the social ills that result from betrayal, about the significance of messages from suddenly appearing and disappearing strangers, and about the importance of generosity. Myth is used to reinforce what matters to a culture, even as that culture changes from generation to generation. All of us know to be careful around convincing strangers: this trope shows up in Little Red Riding Hood, the Coyote legends of the American southwest, and the “Stranger Danger” media campaigns of the 1980’s and 1990’s. Some scholars have suggested that we only really have a small number of storylines across all cultures, and that all of our stories (including today’s urban legends) stem from just 7-10  tales that we have been retelling each other over the eons in slightly different forms. Myth is such a significant driver of shared knowledge that scientists, working to think of how warn humans away from nuclear waste dumps a millenium from now (spoiler– the Lord will probably have come back by then) have posited that the best way to maintain the knowledge of the dangerous materials underground is to develop a mythology around them and a set of shared messages that reference those myths. The theory is that the myths will outlast any kind of monument we could build and transcend any language barrier that could develop between us and our far-removed descendents. We’ll see how that strategy plays out.  

I’m bringing this up because I want us to understand that the stories we recite to each other are important. We may not all be sitting around the campfire telling each other love stories these days, but we are sharing and reposting stories all the time. The relationship myths that get the most leverage on social media are usually the ‘extremes’ of the romantic stories: we share the story of the husband who loved his wife through her life-threatening illness to the point where he donates bone marrow or an organ to her himself. We share revenge videos of unfaithful partners being unmasked in public places. We share videos of the married couples nearing age 100 together, sweetly reuniting in their nursing home after a week apart. We share the ‘red flag’ videos filmed (allegedly) without the knowledge of the selfish partner on the other side of the camera (although a growing number of these videos are scripted by couples who decide to act out this strange form of social humiliation for the sake of growing their social media followings). The more we’re bombarded with these stories, the more we form an understanding of what is important to us and why those things matter. This can lead us to believe some things that aren’t really helpful to our dating journey in the long run. 

Viral videos would reinforce to us that love at first sight is not only common, but ideal. They tell us that we’re more likely to meet someone untrustworthy than someone with whom we can be vulnerable. They would have us believe that the deepest love is made evident through acts of tremendous sacrifice or skill (Look at the hand-built chicken coop my husband surprised me with this weekend! Ladies, get you a man who…). They would also have us believe that only people of a specific level of conventional attractiveness earn the right to have real love. All of these are lies.

We can probably recognize that these mixed messages are just internet fluff, but the mythology circulates in our minds nonetheless. We don’t expect a wolf to intercept us on our way to grandma’s house, but we all walk a bit faster when someone steps out onto a dark sidewalk a few paces behind us. Our communal knowledge shapes our expectations of each other. Mythology governs behavior more than we’d like to believe. 

I’m begging you to help me rewrite the mythology of Apostolic love.

If you can, try to stop sharing the stories that retell unholy myths about relationships. Elevate the stories of slow, gentle connection: “I didn’t think I liked them, but when I worked beside them I saw something special.” Retell the stories of finding love through community, via friends and relatives and (ahem) matchmakers. Teach children to aspire to love stories where the main characters do hard work to align on their values, and then overcome every challenge together. 

Some of these stories are still being written, but remember they’re not really new–if we look back into scripture, they have been there all along. When we cleanse Biblical marriage stories of Western mythological influence, they read something like: 

• “The Lord didn’t design humans to be alone.” (creation)

• “Sometimes we need other people to help us find a great partner.” (Ruth)

• “It’s important to seek out the criteria that matter most to you first.” (Issac and Rebecca)

• “Focusing on attraction over shared values is dangerous.” (Samson)

• “A wise person marries for the right reasons, and treasures their spouse for their whole life.” (Proverbs)

Which stories will you tell over and over? If the Lord tarries, which ones will our grandchildren be telling? I hope your love story, and mine, are among them.

Sincerely, and with love,

Megan

Resources

It's been a while since we've mentioned our friends and mentors, Adam and Karissa King of Dear Young Married Couple. You may be familiar with their podcast or their Instagram account, but these guys have so many incredible projects in the work to build Kingdom families. I think their work is great for Single Apostolics to become familiar with before they get married.  Check out their new book, their podcast, and specialized services like Adam's Pornography Recovery group for men. We can't thank Adam and Karissa enough for pouring into us and into the lives of so many Apostolic families. 

Announcements

Our pipeline re-launch for new female clients is right around the corner! (I'm not panicking, YOU'RE panicking, I totally have time to get everything ready, hahahaha...). New consultation registration will be open on 8/1. Ladies, don’t forget to head to https://www.synchronyproject.com/for-her to add your name to the waitlist so you can get early notification of pricing and get first dibs on consultation appointments. 

Current clients only: this is a GREAT time to schedule a check-in with me to update your preferences. You can request that via email. I'd also love to get updated photos of anyone who I haven't matched in the past 6-9 months or more so I can have it ready to go when I write your bios! Send those my way whenever you have a second. 

Pipeline Profile

By the numbers:

• Available women: 145

• Available men: 28

• Matches in progress: 9 (18 people total)

We're seeing a lot of fluctuations in our pipeline as people move in and out of active subscription (many because they're in new relationships!) and some clients we previously worked with have rejoined (yay! Welcome back, friends!). The other main excitement over the past few weeks has been some news from a few couples who matched between 1-4 months ago and who are shifting from 'testing the waters' to being in exclusive dating relationships. We're praying for them and are excited to see what God has in store!

Hey Single Friend, 

Welcome to Love Notes! I’m so excited that you’re here. If you’re new: Love Notes are weekly updates from Megan, designed to give you a boost of encouragement and keep you looped in on all of the happenings at The Synchrony Project. These are always written straight from my heart, never with AI.