Dominoes

What’s on Megan’s Mind?

The Lord has been encouraging me with something lately, and I hope it will encourage you, too. A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned in that issue of the newsletter the idea that the Lord’s plans for us are like an intricate arrangement of dominoes. I wanted to expand on this idea a bit more. For an example of the kind of domino arrangement I’m describing, take a look at this 35,000 domino masterpiece by Dak’s Dominoes on YouTube— I find the colors of this one particularly satisfying! We only get a small sense of the scale of the domino arrangement at the beginning of the video, and you can almost feel the tension in the room when the chain reaction is about to be initiated. One movement sets off the flow, and then the entire pattern–which required days for all nine (yes, NINE) of the professional domino builders (apparently, those exist) to collaborate on, starts to blossom in front of our eyes. 

A few things struck me about this insane artistic process that are analogous to how I’ve been thinking about the course of many of the relationships we’re seeing unfold right now through Synchrony. I hope some of these resonate with you:

1. It takes more time to set them up than to knock them down. According to the notes on the video above, the domino arrangement took 9 people 7 days to construct, and came down in only 6 minutes. In other words: the design materialized in only 0.002% of the time it took to create it (assuming they did the work in 8 hour workdays). In Synchrony, and in the lives of our clients more broadly, we’re beginning to see how long it takes for the Lord’s ‘design’ for our relationships to be constructed before the final picture can take shape. We’ve worked on this project for over three years now, and at this point we’re beginning to be able to match clients who have not had prospects in the entire time we’ve been working with them, some of them since the project’s very beginnings. The insane joy I experience when one of our long-waiting clients meets their partner is absolutely exhilarating. 

2. The design requires a lot of materials before it can be completed. 35,000 dominoes, not to mention a host of other objects (books, marbles, toys of all shapes, popsicle sticks, and myriad other baubles and bits) all are necessary parts of this final design. I’m struck by the tremendous amount of stuff this work of art required. Sometimes with relationships, it’s easy for us to get upset when God does not furnish all of the raw materials for our love story. Surely he could snap his fingers and generate a host of willing and well-discipled Apostolic men, ready to be matched with all of our ‘ladies in waiting?’ But I’m reminded of the story of the loaves and the fishes which he used to feed the 5,000. It’s difficult for me to imagine that there were no other edible things among that group. As a mom, I’m always sure to pack snacks; I can’t believe that the only member of the crowd who had shown restraint was a teenage boy (let’s face it, those 5 loaves and 2 fish shouldn’t have lasted through Jesus’s opening remarks with that kind of metabolism). No– I believe there was other food to be had, but none of it was offered up. Even if there were none, the Lord could have just filled the pockets of the listeners with manna, or materialized rain that turned into wine on its way through the sky. But the Lord chose to use the materials that were made available to him. He waited for the people– for the Church– to yield up an offering that he could bless and multiply. When I’m at my most frustrated because of the imbalance of gender across our fellowship, or with the lack of available matches for a specific client who I want so badly to be happy, I remember that it’s not the Lord’s job to materialize men or women out of thin air. He has called his Church to make disciples. We need to bring him our raw materials and allow that to be multiplied. Reader, I’m thrilled to tell you that this is already happening. The number of clients (many of them male) who are arriving with testimonies of deliverance, restoration, or just sudden conversion seemingly out of nowhere has been astounding. The Lord is multiplying our materials and using them to build a healthier, thriving Church body. 

3. Every piece must fall into place to see the full picture.  For even one domino or one piece of tubing or one popsicle stick to be slightly out of place would have ruined the entire execution of the domino project. The painstaking arrangement ensures that there is just enough space between them to facilitate the right level of impact, just enough of an angle to the curves to prevent them from getting stuck, just enough room between the intertwined rows to make sure that one domino only strikes the domino it is meant to strike, in the right order, at the right time. There is no way to complete the design perfectly by making the dominoes fall out of sequence. The design of the Master is built with thousands of dependencies, orchestrated by Him so that all the right impacts are felt. With relationships, this means that the timing of how things fall is not just about our plans for when we’d like to fall in love or have a family. I don’t believe in predestination or soulmates, so I believe that there are always options and choices for when and how we take steps toward marriage and family, and those choices chart different paths for each of us. No matter the process that we undergo, the Lord uses our timeline for its maximum Kingdom impact. In whatever multiverse timeline we inhabit, He is sovereign. Periods of stillness and waiting are not allowed to sit uselessly; they are part of the design– if life has brought us a waiting period, then the Lord will use it so our waiting intersects with an impact that is needed. I think of a dear client who, before I had the pleasure of introducing her to her spouse, spent years as a single foster parent, raising a child who needed her to be present, right where she was, right then. Moving across the country (which she did eventually do, after meeting her husband) would not have afforded her the opportunity to be the parent that child needed for that season. Could the Lord have materialized a spouse earlier, regardless? Of course– maybe the Church was still doing its work to disciple the right type of person for her, maybe she needed more time to learn about herself, maybe none of those things were true. Regardless of the questions we can’t answer about why these waiting seasons exist, I believe that when they end, they do so at the time when the impact will be its most breathtaking.

I’ve been drawn to Chapter 37 of Psalms, written by David near the end of his life. It’s a song about justice and patience, and the ultimate power that God has to bring His will into being. “I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.” So writes the poet-king after a life full of uncertainty, facing a Kingdom with an uncertain future; still, he is certain that the outcome of his story will be just, holy, and good. It’s a song constructed to point out God’s completeness and rightness– it’s even written as an acrostic, with each line beginning with one letter of the Hebrew alphabet, in order, building one upon the other. It reminds me of the dominoes– laid so intentionally, even though the observer watching the Master lay them would have no idea what the final picture could contain. 

I spoke to a client recently who is in the early stages of an exclusive relationship with a match she met through Synchrony. I’m thrilled for both of them– they are treating each other with such respect and adding so much joy into each other’s worlds. “The thing is, Megan,” my client told me, with a choke in her voice, “None of this could have happened two years ago.” And she is right. Two years ago, when we started working together, she was sitting in a pile of unplaced dominoes and bewailing that there was no beautiful picture to be seen on the floor. We coached her through critically analyzing her long list of requirements, her past relationship wounds and insecurities, and the difference between the voice of God and the voice of people in her life. She buckled down and went to work– sought out therapy, built boundaries with family, created a life for herself that was healthy regardless of whether or not she had a partner. At times, I know that she wanted to give up on the entire process. I’m so proud that she waited for the Master to finish His design. 

“The thing that is different this time, with this relationship, is me,” she said. “In the past, I would have sabotaged this. But I don’t even feel like I need to. I’m ready for what comes next, whatever that is.” I believe her. 

His ways are higher, His timing is perfect. But he requires us to do the work of clearing the floor and making our dominoes, however paltry, available to him to multiply and to lay into his intricate design. 

If you remember nothing else from this letter, remember this: when He is ready for the dominoes to fall, they fall quickly. 

I am excited to see where they land, for you and for me. 

Sincerely, and with love,

–Megan

Resources

I’ve mentioned the value of seeking out therapy or professional counseling quite often on the Podcast, but if you’re not aware: we think therapy is great. For anyone who is skeptical, I encourage you to think about your mind as an essential part of your health– for most of us who are privileged to reach a healthy old age, our bodies will likely outlast our brains. The more we can take care of our thoughts and our minds, the better.  If you were out of shape, hiring a personal trainer would help you get into shape. A therapist is similar, and there are amazing options for Biblically-based, professionally-trained Apostolic counselors who can provide both the data-driven professional counseling skills while understanding and supporting your commitment to the Truth. I’m thrilled to give a shoutout to one special counselor in particular, who happens to be a former (now happily married) Synchrony client! She’s licensed in the state of Illinois and is soon to be fully licensed to practice in California, so readers in either of those states are welcome to contact her for services. She specializes in young adults (in their 20’s-30’s), accepts a range of common insurance plans, and is trained to support clients struggling with anxiety, depression, relationship concerns, and various other mental and emotional challenges. You can learn more about her practice at www.thehavencounselingservices.com. 

Announcements

No new announcements, but just some reminders– ladies, don’t forget that you can sign up for the Spring waiting list on our website now for the next re-opening of our ladies matchmaking pipeline. 

Gentlemen, you can get started with matchmaking at any point! Visit synchronyproject.com to book your consultation, and please make sure that you wait to be redirected to the calendar before you close your browser window so you can book your timeslot with me!

Pipeline Profile

By the Numbers:

• Available men: 46

• Available ladies: 211

• Matches in progress: 10 (20 people total)

You might notice that this week’s count of available female clients is much higher than last week’s count. That’s because I had the chance to go through the Existing Client Updates survey that I sent out to our former clients recently and get everyone’s information re-added to their pipeline profile. That included over a dozen returning clients who chose to re-join the pipeline! As a reminder: if you’ve paid for a consultation before and met with me for your 1 hour interview, you’re “in.” If you paused your subscription (back when we still had one) you can email me at any time to re-initiate your profile and be actively matched again. Hurry and do that, because I’m about to buckle down for some serious matchmaking!

Hey Single Friend, 

Welcome to Love Notes! I’m so excited that you’re here. If you’re new: Love Notes are weekly updates from Megan, designed to give you a boost of encouragement and keep you looped in on all of the happenings at The Synchrony Project. These are always written straight from my heart, never with AI.