5 Appearance Tips

What’s on Megan’s Mind?

I know I generally use this newsletter to wax eloquent on some kind of weighty, substantial topic, but I’ll be honest with you guys–I’m writing this at 11:58, approximately nine hours before it’s supposed to hit your inbox, and I was supposed to be asleep half an hour ago. I promise my doctor that I’m going to work on this whole “sleep hygiene” thing soon–maybe one day. 

This is going to be a substantially less meaty newsletter, but I’m hoping you can take away some practical tips. I want to talk about physical appearance, and specifically 5 things you can do to improve yours without drastically altering your life. These are small, fairly inexpensive changes which may directly improve your dating experience, based on the preferences I've heard and recorded for our 500+ interviewees. 

Before I go any further into what is starting to feel more and more like an article from People Magazine, let me caveat by saying: you shouldn’t ever make changes to your appearance that would compromise your convictions, or that feel inauthentic to you. I’d never encourage anyone to dye their hair, for example, or undergo any kind of expensive medical procedures in order to better fit the desirable aesthetic of the moment. You deserve to feel at home in your body, and to have a partner who values you for who you are, not who you pretend to be. 

That said, I know that a lot of us feel pressure to meet a certain standard of attractiveness, without really knowing how to get there. If you had time, money, and energy to invest into yourself and weren’t sure where to start, here’s where I’d suggest you begin:

1. Teeth. This is something that comes up in consultations with people of both genders, with some regularity. Straight, clean, bright teeth are one of the things that people cite as most likely to catch their eye (in a positive way). Maybe more significantly, poor dental hygiene (or the perception of that due to missing or discolored teeth) is one of the biggest physical ‘pet peeves’ that I hear clients cite. If you know your teeth are not one of your best features, consider investing first in some affordable, over-the-counter options to reduce visible plaque and whiten teeth (like using a WaterPik or at-home whitening strips). Even small improvements to your dental health can make a big impact. 

2. Hairline. This does not exclusively apply to men, although I’m sure you’ve heard more about male pattern baldness than you have hormonal alopecia in women. Gentlemen, my advice to you is that most women say that they’d prefer a man with a full head of hair OR a man who has chosen to shave his head completely, compared to a man who is balding while trying to hide the fact that he is balding by creatively styling his hair. Obscuring a receding hairline can be difficult without help from a very talented barber and can require a lot of upkeep, so if you’re not willing to invest a lot of money into finding and paying for master barbering services, I’d recommend trying a full shave just to see how it feels. Ladies– many of us suffer from thinning hair and bald patches as well, due to a number of hormonal or environmental factors. This can carry a tremendous amount of shame for women. Before you start testing expensive or risky medical treatments to address this, consider searching for a frontal hair topper. Wig technology has come a long way, and there is no shame in adding some hair (we’ve been doing it for years– go ask your Meemaw what a “hair rat” is). These toppers can be blended in with your natural hair without making it look like you have cut bangs, and while the best ones can be pricey, for anyone really struggling with confidence due to hair loss it may be worth the investment.

3. Skincare. This is NOT just for women! Taking good care of your skin (especially on your face) can be a game-changer. You should consult with a dermatologist before trying new products, but just know that a good face care routine (cleanser, moisturizer, sunscreen in the morning and cleanser/moisturizer at night) doesn’t have to break the bank. Guys: this goes for you, too! Wash your face, with something other than body or hand soap, and throw on a light moisturizer. 

4. Face framing. We generally aren’t able to change the shape of our face (without surgical interventions), but we can optimize the power of proportion to help draw attention to the most flattering angles of our faces. Face framing can be especially important if you’re interacting with prospects online or over video calls. This is the moment where I’d recommend checking out YouTube for insight into how to do this for your specific facial structure. You can adjust the length of sideburns/facial hair, color or texture of clothing near your neckline, placement and size of glasses, hairstyles, and other elements to create a flattering silhouette. I’ll be honest and tell you that I’m not the person to teach anyone to do this (I mean, have you watched our podcast lately? Yikes).  However, there are Apostolic people on social media or probably in your local church who always look put together and have a knack for styling the clothing and accessories closest to their face to give it the most flattering shape. It goes without saying that for ladies specifically, I’d never encourage anyone to cut their hair to achieve a face-framing effect; you may need to search specifically for non-haircut strategies to better frame your features if you research this online. 

5. Photos. For your next birthday or special occasion, consider treating yourself to a solo photoshoot with a professional photographer who can capture some of your personality and coach you on how to pose or move to get the best shots. If you’re dating online, good photos are essential. Even if you don’t take new photos, go take a look at the profile photo on any social media platform where you hope or expect to connect with other singles. Make sure that it’s flattering, shows your face clearly, and demonstrates an authentic smile that feels like you. 

Again– you shouldn’t stress about your appearance; it’s not the most important thing that you bring to your future relationships, by far. However, implementing some of these tips may improve your first impressions and also give you a boost in confidence. Confidence is the underlying goal of any changes you make to your physical appearance; nothing is more attractive. 

Sincerely, and with love,

Megan

Resources

If you don’t follow Bro. Myron Wideman already on Instagram, you should consider doing so. Bro. Wideman is a powerfully-used minister of the gospel, but he has also developed a habit of dropping Biblical, compassionate, dating- and marriage-focused truth bombs on his socials. Frankly, I can’t get enough of it. Go glean from his wisdom!

Announcements

Our pipeline is once again closed to female clients, but have no fear–we’ll be re-opening again in the Spring! In the meantime, I’ll be shifting fully into wrapping up intake and re-evaluating our pipeline so I can start matching, in earnest. Ladies who didn’t sign up for a consultation this time around can join the waiting list here (no need to do so if you had signed up before). 

Pipeline Profile

By the numbers:

• Available men: 41

• Available women: 168+ (still getting intake records set up from the past couple of weeks)

• Matches in progress: 8 (16 people total)

It’s going to take me a while to get my pipeline management system (we use a board in ClickUp) and all of the records we’ve collected from the past weeks to agree, so take these numbers with a grain of salt. I also have about 80 people in my “booked” column, who purchased or booked a consultation and either haven’t had their meeting yet, or no-showed for their scheduled time; we’ll also start reaching out to those folks in earnest soon to get them squared away. 

Hey Single Friend, 

Welcome to Love Notes! I’m so excited that you’re here. If you’re new: Love Notes are weekly updates from Megan, designed to give you a boost of encouragement and keep you looped in on all of the happenings at The Synchrony Project. These are always written straight from my heart, never with AI.